When I was a kid, my biggest dream (fueled by my mother's ambitions for me) was to get married and have children. Somewhere along in college, I realized that I could have my own ambitions, and by golly, I didn't want kids, nor did I want to get married.
Rebellion was a sweet and churning emotion.
And rather confusing.
I'm engaged now, and I absolutely cannot wait to marry to my sweetheart. But, not for the reasons that I thought when I was younger. I honestly didn't have any reasons when I was younger. After a trip to the side of, "Marriage? Why marriage?" I can say that my reasons are totally different now. Getting married is not a status symbol to me. Nor a reason to have sex. Honestly, marriage is becoming pretty useless is my opinion. Aside from tax breaks and benefits from the government and hospital visitation rights (which are now being worked on), marriage is just a symbol.
So, after taking a foray in nomarriageland, I realized that, like most everything else, it all comes down to your motivations. I want to get married now, not because I can flaunt a giant ring on my finger and have "girls' nights out" with other wives (shudder). I want to get married because it's a public proclamation of my devotion to my beloved. And we're going to have a kick ass party with our friends. That seems more like marriage to me.
Not fifteen thousands dollars in debt because we can't afford it. Not a four hundred person wedding because we feel the need to invite everyone we know. Dresses from thift stores and our friends who supported us. That sounds just about right to me.
It will absolutely be a kick-ass party! I agree with most of what you said. If/when I get married, it will be for the most narcisstic of reasons (bad spelling, I'm sure). If someone cares enough about my life 400 years from now (like I do about Shakespeare) and only one fact remains about me, I want it to be that I was so in love with X that I married them.
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